kitty cotton candy

...I'm not dead, I promise.

Hey there, everyone! Just a note to say that I'm not dead and that things are going better for me here in the land of Springtime and Pollen.

The money from Dad's estate is starting to come in. I'm just really glad that it will hopefully all be taken care of soon.

Spending far too much time RPing on Tumblr which is not nearly as satisfying as Journal-based RPing but it has its charm.

I am still writing away...more ideas than ability to type them. So many fics. Most of them Homestuck. Whew!

Still journeying along my Wiccan/Pagan pathway. I'm not entirely satisfied with my progress but I'm taking it easy on myself.

Next month, I'm going to app Blossom Culp to Milliways. I'm looking forward to playing there again.

AAAannnd that's about it. I'm real distractedy lately but I figured I'd take some time to post here. ...I should probably go do DreamWidth too...
pink rose

Lunchtime Posty Thing

Things with Dad's lack-of-will proceed apace. Which is to say, slow as molasses running uphill at this time of year. *sigh*

The Tarot reading classes are really awesome! I did a practice reading (my first!) the other day and even though I still had to use my notes on meanings, I was still able to open up to my intuitive side and give a halfway decent reading. I guess with some things you just have to jump in with both feet!

I am still writing every day, though I have not posted anything yet this year. This needs to change soon. I have a few feelings about fandom (not specifically Homestuck, but it's my main fandom these days) in general.

I've seen some pretty nasty things go on, not just lately, but in every fandom I've been involved in or witnessed or just heard of. I just wonder what makes some people act so nastily to each other. I wonder about people who will go on anon-commenting and tell someone who has been talking about suicide to "just end it all already".

I wonder about shippers. I mean, I consider myself a shipper but what makes people get so up in arms over it? I mean, you're shipping fictional characters (or real people used as fictional characters)! Why does it have to be something to argue over to the point of threats and serious meanness?

It might have something to do with the age of the participants, I suppose, but I don't really take that as much of an excuse to just not be civil. I really do try to treat anyone I comment to online as if they are sitting right in front of me (ok, with a little more bravery, since in Real Life [tm] I am kind of awkward).

I know meanness happens outside of fandom, but I just...wonder at it on the inside. Because this is something we do for fun, so why can't we just...let it be fun?

Related Tumblr thoughts:

Tumblr, to be honest, is a really lousy platform for fandom. It's hard to have a decent discussion without clogging up the dashboard--and to follow a discussion you are not necessarily a part of is annoying as hell. It's great for sharing art and pictures...but not so great for anything else. I enjoy Tumblr simply because of the visuals, but I am not fond of the Tumblr "social justice" memes, and definitely not a fan of how difficult it is to get to know people on there or have a conversation!

That said, I have been considering making some sort of blog/Tumblr called "Miss Shelle's guide to Fandom Manners" or something. Knowing me, it would never get off the ground, though.
set my mind in motion by curtana

Now, on a different note...

So, fic roundup for 2011!


Fics I have written this year!

A Portrait of the Mechanic as a Young Girl: 25,349 words, 16 chapters, complete. Characters: Wiress, Beetee. Fandom: The Hunger Games Thoughts: That one little word. "Complete." Holy fuck, people, I COMPLETED something!

Two tiny little things of 100 words each:

Tribute and Mentor: 100 words, complete. Characters: Wiress, Beetee.

A Good Death: 100 words, complete. Characters: Wiress, Beetee.

I enjoyed the challenge of writing these short pieces of fiction. I need to write more of them. ;)

I've got two other stories planned out for the verse I created for this fic...but right now, I soooo cannot live in Panem. It's way too bleak.

Everything else is Homestuck. :)

Clerkstuck: 16,781 words, 12 chapters, complete. Characters: as many trolls and kids as I could. John/Karkat, Dave/Terezi, Tavros/Gamzee. Thoughts: what was I even thinking, combining Clerks with Homestuck?? Still, I love the 'verse I created for the fic and I have more fics in this series. I am dissatisfied with a couple of things in retrospect, but in general, I like it.

Everything's All Right, Yes: ficlet, 1,953 words, Sufferer/Disciple, complete. One-off, written for the kink meme. Thoughts: It isn't precisely G-rated. Also, Xenobiology. What the hell am I writing here? I do love this fic, though.

Father of Mine: 4,242 words, 7 chapters, complete. Characters: Bro, mainly. Thoughts: Kind of angsty and I wrote it to get it out of my head. I like it, though, and I like Bro a lot here. It's been Jossed to hell and back but I don't even care. There's another story in the series.

Grubs: 4,618 words, 6 chapters, complete. Characters: all the troll grubs, some troll and human OCs. Thoughts: This is in the New Jersey-verse that I made up for Clerkstuck. I especially like Tavros' foster family and "Crabdad". I was striving for cute here. I think I've pretty much succeeded.

Works In Progress:

The Hunger Games

A Part Of, And Yet Apart: 5,883 words, 6 chapters, ongoing. Thoughts: This is a companion Piece to Portrait of the Mechanic As a Young Girl. It's only stalled because I am stalled on the Hunger Games universe.

Losing Time: 8,668 words, 5 chapters, ongoing. Thoughts: Sequel to Portrait. Once again, stalled till my head is in a better place and I can bring myself to write in that universe again.

Homestuck

it takes two men to make one brother: 793 words, 1 chapter. The second Bro story.

Kindergartenstuck: 10,775 words, 8 chapters, ongoing. This is the sequel to Grubs. There are certain bits of this that are diabetes-inducing levels of sweet. Seriously.

Nameless: 12,103 words, 8 chapters, ongoing. This is the story of the Disciple. I love that girl. It's also kind of sad in a lot of bits. And sometimes kind of cute. Like most of my stuff, really.

Planned fics!

Homestuck

Mallbent: It's in the same universe as Clerkstuck. Come at me, bro. ;)

There will probably be a bunch of elementary and middle-school ficlets for the Jersey-verse. And a longer high school AU story, which has some stuff written for it, but is titleless at the moment.

Bubbles: the sequel to Nameless. Nuff said.

And finally, pictures from the gone world, which will be kind of huge and daunting. There's stuff written for it. I really hope I can do it up right. It would be NICE if someone could do art for it... *sigh* Anyway, I'm taking the God-Tier thing at face value and making the new universe that the kids will be gods over and it might be really interesting! At the very least it will be fun to write... ;)

For The Hunger Games, I have two more stories planned: Mad Girl Love Song and Quell. I'm really hoping that I can do them eventually.

This has been my most productive writing year EVER, just with what I have published online. Most of the stuff is pretty unpolished, I admit. I mostly write the stuff and publish it with a few glances at it. Oh and all this is just since May, which is incredible to me. I'm having loads of fun with it and the comments and love I've gotten have been awesome.

Let's see what I can do in 2012!
set my mind in motion by curtana

That Meme Thing

So I stole this from in_the_blue:

Comment to this post, and I will list five things I associate with you, They might make sense or they might be totally random. Then post that list, with your commentary, to your LJ (or just add a reply back to me). Other people (including me) can get lists from you, and the meme merrily perpetuates itself.

She gave me: Collapse )
nyanko candy store

Well, tis the season...

And here's my holiday wishlist, cross-posted to holiday_wishes:

1. Wiccan or Pagan 'coming to the faith' stories. My husband and I are exploring these paths, and I would really like to know how you came to your faith!

2. A deck of Rider-Waite Tarot cards. I've always wanted to learn how to read them and this is the year!

3. Legos for my son. He LOVES Legos, especially mini-figures.

4. HOMESTUCKS. I am a huge fan of homestuck, and I would love anything about that: t-shirts, art, whatever, even (especially!) stuff that's handmade. Most of my fannish stuff is displayed in my cubicle at work so I love small stuff. :)

5. Broadway items! Anything Broadway/Musical related.

6. Hello Kitty things! I love anything Hello Kitty or Nyan Nyan Nyanko from San-X. Again, small things are lovely.

7. Anything off My amazon wish list.

8. Beginner level small lever Harp sheet Music! I am trying to get back into this and I would love old lesson books, any beginner level stuff you have.

9. Tell the people you care about that you love them before it is too late. Hug them. This is important.

10. Perform some random acts of kindness for people, and tell me about it!

My e-mail is shellebelle93 (at) yahoo (dot) com if you need my mailing address.

A wonderful holiday season to you all! If anyone else posts their wishes, let me know! *hugs*
set my mind in motion by curtana

Hi! What's new and exciting in your controversial life??

Yes, this is how I greeted a fair few of my friends when I was in high school. Invariably, the answer was, "not much". :D

Quick updatey thing:

-fic writing proceeds apace. No, forget apace, it's proceeding like a runaway freight train. My brain cannot process all of my ideas. Homestuck is probably one of the most fertile breeding grounds for fanfic I've ever come across. At least for me it is. I'm having an awesome time with it.

-We survived our stupid winter storm. I call it the stupid winter storm because it's ridiculous that such a small amount of wet, heavy snow could do SO much damage. We only lost power for about 22 hours, and for that I'm eternally grateful. Over a week later, there are still some places with no power. Sheesh.

-We are down one income, currently. Hubby is trying to find another second job. In the meantime, it's kinda nice to have him home more often. <3 I wish we didn't need the money so bad.

-Struggling with blood sugars. Send some healthy vibes my way, ok? We're headlong into "candy season" here.

-My spiritual life is starting to smooth out, I think. I wish I could make you all understand what sort of peace I'm experiencing, so much different than living through fundamentalist Christian hell. I want to get back to the curious place I was as a young teenager--I know that sounds "bad" but from ages 14 to about...well, about 30, I deprived myself of true spiritual exploration. I've been climbing up from that but it's difficult to free myself of the sort of bindings I put on my spirit in the name of being "born-again". It's all very difficult to explain.

For well over 20 years, I told myself I could not do certain things that in my heart, I wanted to do, and for well over 20 years, I tried to make myself fit a certain mold that wasn't really 'me'.

I'm not denying myself anymore, and it's incredibly liberating...and freakin' *tiring*!

But good. It's all good.

How is everyone else? <3
set my mind in motion by curtana

so...sup, f-list?

Quick rundown, things happening:

My son had a lot of fun at his first ever school dance! The teacher for his autism class went with him and his friend Matthew to keep an eye on them and she said they had a blast.

His birthday party is this weekend and he will be 12 on the 29th. Uuuugh, time goes too fast!

I auditioned for a musical last week! I think I did ok for it being my first audition for ANYTHING since college, but damn, my voice shakes so much when I'm nervous. I wish I could afford to take voice lessons. I feel good about the audition even though I did not get a callback. It won't be my last one, and I'm simply going to have to find more opportunities to sing in front of people. ...and practice acting. I have no idea how to go about that but I'm sure I can find out!

I am writing my blessed fingers off and having the best time ever with Homestuck. It's just...it's the most amazing fount of creative inspiration for fanwork ever, at least for me. It shoved Hunger Games fanfic right off my brainspace, but I'm still picking away at those fics too. They're both fun but in different ways and for very different reasons.

Homestuck, right now, is the thing that is keeping me from begging more anti-anxiety meds off of my doctor. I look at fan art and fanfic and re-read canon and I cackle like Terezi, I swear.

It's not that I'm not stressed, but man, Homestuck does take the edge off. So...thanks, Hussie. You're awesome.

I don't even want to write about the bad shit--because there is some of that--because it's just...not that bad, right now.

My voyage of self-discovery is going well, I think. And also my new philosophy of "I will not tell myself I can't do things" seems to be working out. At 42, it's about time.